I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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