I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
