His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize