Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
