3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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