what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear on the fireplace
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize