I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
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