If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
