bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
