i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
