Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Every concussion has its silver lining
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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