stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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