We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
