yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
