but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
