is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
