I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize