it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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