I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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