Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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