we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
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I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
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And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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