okay pat passed out under dana's car
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
