Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Your dad touched me again.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
