We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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