grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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