his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize