I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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