fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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