We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize