Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize