I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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