he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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