I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me that man meat
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize