Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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