if i died would you start the facebook group?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
