apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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