she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
