Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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