I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
