We're like a lot better than the average bears
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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