I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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