So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
