Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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