God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
