I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
