That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize