Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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