dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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