On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
