She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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