it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
