he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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