Porn is love you can see.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize