I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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