Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
