jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize