I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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