honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
